The Table

Mark Guarrera current points:(13): Also known as the Guru of Wine, Marhey Gayeahyeah (ABS) Advanced Beardy Solutions, or at the table, Modest Marky, for his ability to fire off a damaging assortment of sledges after winning a big pot to the loser (see Tony G circa: 06-08). Marky has had a pretty good starting season with some high placing’s and consistent poker strategy. But I believe he had a go at the BBQ early in the new year which is always a good laugh.




Will Waegeman current points:(11): Also known as “I like bourbon, a lot”, “I’m really drunk but you can’t tell because I look like this all the time”, “Would you like to wee in my bed”? And Whilly! Will is known for his sometimes remarkable comebacks at the poker table, one minute the guy will almost be out of cash, the next he’s using $100 notes as a straw for his bourbon and coke. Will is renowned at the poker table for screaming a blunt “fold” at a check raise. He has had a reasonable year but his game has been a little like a prostitute at a 21st. Up. And down. I believe he has also had a hit on the BBQ in the past few weeks.






Ben Hall current points:(6): Also known as “I wear a tea towel for a t-shirt”, Rex Hunts little bruz, “Can we check to the river”? “I’ll have just one more sausage” and that never forgetful of nights he bought his dog harry to the poker table to play with Peter’s dog ted. Nuff Said. Ben is either very, very lucky at the poker table, or very unlucky at the poker table. In saying that, I cannot remember the last time the guy had to cook the BBQ. Ben loves a good plane crash, but is rarely the first to leave the table.


James Harley current points:(13): Also known as “Pommy James”, “I like to gamble”, “I love a punt”, “did you put anything on that”? “Anyone up for a slippery $20”, “All in”, “hang on Luke, I just want to put a bet on” and “I lost Blackjack again?”. Pommy is renowned for having a punt, be it at the table, or anywhere in general. James is known for going all in on hands like, 7,2 off suit, 9,3 off suit, J,2 off suit and winning. Pommy is also known for going all in on hands like, 7,2 off suit, 9,3 off suit, J,2 off suit and losing, just as much. Probably the most aggressive player at the table, Pommy has balls, maybe not as big as Keithy’s, but they’re there just the same.




Peter Tamblyn current points:(7): Also known as “Raise, 300”, “that was Tamblynesque”, “What’s a good name for a beer/wine”? “Doin’ the diamonds!”, “TED!” and “Teter Pamblyn”. Peter is most recently renowned on the table for losing from an unlosable position, which proves that poker isn’t always about the strategy, sometimes it’s just about the cards. Pete would have to be one of the best bluffers at the table. At times he scares me at how Tamblynesque he actually is. Other times I want just to punch his dog in the face.



James Hopkins current points:(9): Also known as the Suit at a table of bogans, “Marky, its your go”, “blinds are up”, “Peter folds, he’s not here”, “Beck folds, she’s not here”, “Does anyone have a spare peg”? and “Jimmy”. Jimmy is most renowned at the table for keeping everything running ever so smoothly, he controls the blinds and he smokes his cigarettes attached to a peg. Some would ask why? I ask why not? I commend any man that can smoke a cigarette at a table of manly men, and not be affronted by the fact he’s punching a dart through a peg. Fucking good on you JIMMY! Jimmy’s poker strategy can sometimes be transparent, other times he makes you regret raising. Jimmy is one of the more consistent boys on the table and I haven’t seen the man cook for a good while.




Luke Hansell current points:(7) Also known as “Good thanks, yourself?”, “yes bruz!” “Jack seven”, "deluxe85" and “is Ted here?”. Luke is one of the newest permanent members of the table. His game has taken a journey from… er… well, the beginning, to no longer folding pocket Q’s before the flop. Luke doesn’t play many hands and he introduced the whole table to BBQ tuff wipes. Luke likes to sit in the same seat every week and often drinks Carlton midstrength when everyone else’s beers are finished.




Beck Bourke current points:(9): Also so known as "The Hook". She'll keep you honest, if Beck's playing she's almost always got the best hand.
She's also known for flashing her cards to Pete with a nonchalant stare that says, "oh yes, I have rockets". Beck is a fairly
new arrival at the table, she plays consistent poker and isn't one to be messed with on a check raise. And just quietly, Beck
has never cooked the BBQ. What is happening in the world!?!?




Matty Pease current points:(4): Also known as "the chef" and *A look up at the ceiling after going all in on a losing hand*, before anyone is out. Lets put it this way, if there is a BBQ on, Matty wants to cook it. He's willing to spend $30 a week just so he can do so. COOK ON MATTY! COOK ON!





Ted current points:(1000000): Also known as the "annoyance", Marky's emotional pin cushion, "i'll chase anything round", "I bark because I can" and Harry's ass trailer. Ted doesn't play poker, but he has been known to influence the table more than once. Don't let the picture of this cute little fella fool you. Ted really is an arsehole.